Thursday, April 16, 2015

Embracing the Alchemy of My Body

On my journey in living a Vibrant Juicy Life, I have had many challenges...Emotional, Spiritual and most recent Body.  I feel as I age, balancing my health gets harder and harder...it's almost like everything starts going south...and I'm not just talking about the affect gravity alone has on us women, LOL  In the past few years,  I've struggled with my teeth, my vision, chronic shoulder, back, knee and ankle pain...all caused from various injuries, pain that sorta just snuck back in, in the form of residual pain, (from the infamous inflammation I'm sure), among other unexpected ailments.  After all we are spiritual beings having a human experience and with that comes living in these shells we call bodies.

This is a perfect example of why I embraced the path of a Holistic Alchemical Healing Channel...

I seek to find balance of the Mind, Body and Spirit...and assist others in doing the same...transforming energy, emotions, consciousness and vibrations from one form to another.  I'm what's known as the "Wounded Healer" I suppose.  My offerings come from life experiences not so much my trainings.

Now, I have been given a new challenge...I went in for my routine health check to include the normal blood tests...only this time I got a call saying I'm Pre-Diabetic.  I new sooner or later my unshakable excess weight would catch up to me.  It's not been easy for me to choose to live a Vibrant Juicy Life and promote others to do the same, yet feel ashamed of my excess weight, my fail attempts to loose it and being subconscious about own body.  

~If you don't want to read my story...skip down to "Embracing the Alchemy of my body..."and be my witness

Only a few know that I've been a size 3 or smaller most of my life...

USMC...19yrs old
hard to believe when you look at me now.  I graduated High School at 98 lbs, spent the rest of my adult life at around 105 lbs. I was even put on double rations while in the service to gain weight because I'd drop under 100 lbs.

Now what you see in my recent selfies, and the first picture, is 12 years of struggling with excess weight, years of trying every diet out there to loose a little only to gain it back and then some...years of struggling with my shame and self conscious about being obese.  I want to interject here and say, I've been down the self acceptance and self love road...it's something I find important and practice more now then ever; but in my heart I have known and still know I don't feel comfortable in my skin at this weight.  Still to this day I don't know how to dress properly for my full figure and when I look in the mirror...I don't know who that person is anymore.

I spent my young adult life living pretty healthy...  

I didn't have many body image issues, other than wishing my nose or eyes were smaller, my hair was straighter etc, you know the things we think about when we are young and compare.  But I've grown to love those parts of me.  When I look back I have to be honest and say though I made some not so good food choices...I lived a much more active life.  Despite my busy life working at the hospital and being a single mom, I managed to make time for exercise and I always made wholesome meals too, processed foods were not common in our home. 

I know that as we age and our bodies change...

they seem to slow down and can't keep up...I get that some weight gain is expected.  I also know stress and cortisol and hormonal changes.  I lived with way more stress then, than I do now, drank coffee by the liter and even smoked, all of which I left behind.  Yet I was healthier then, then now.  I also traded in my stressful hospital job that called for me to be on my feet a lot and away from my kids, for a sedentary job at a jewelry bench so I could be more available to my kids. But didn't take the initiative to continue increasing my workout to balance it out. We all make life choices some good, some not so good.  Mine have brought me here facing the potential health threat of developing Type II Diabetes.

25yrs old with my 1st born~
33 yrs old after my 2nd born
I spent most of my life around 105 lbs give or take... I had my first child at age 25, and found going back to my pre-baby weight easy, my second child graced me at age 30...after the second it wasn't so easy getting back down...in fact I stayed between 115-120lbs...and I thought I was fat then...sigh.  I tried loosing the weight but that's where my body felt it should be and since I felt I was eating and exercising right I accepted it.

I married my second husband at age 38 and a week after our wedding he suffered four strokes.  The six months that followed were so trying, full of emotions from fearful to stressful, emotionally and financially.  In the end I had gained 50lbs! I want to take a moment and say that my wonderful hubby came through it all, he fully recovered from the strokes and heart surgery.  Though he says, he's only 95% back, he lost something then...we both felt it. But we feel very blessed he was able to recover and his heart repaired.

38yrs old, making wedding plans ~ 9 months or so later...

But that's when my struggle with weight began...

I tried every possible diet out there from blood type to belly fat and everything in between only to loose some weight and gain it back.  At age 42 we were blessed with our third child.  Between the diets, quitting coffee and smoking, pregnancy and birth control pills not to mention the sedentary job...the weight kept creeping up.  An additional 20lbs in the past 12 years.  So if you are doing your math...you can see why I'm considered obese at 5'1".

Embracing the Alchemy of my Body...

the transformation of something basic to something more pure.  Where do I go from here, well I've decided to transform my health and body...to a more vibrant and pure state.  Honestly, I feel a little defeated, because in the past 12yrs I have been conscious of my health, with no success. I suppose now it's in being consistent and in actually completing the transformation.  SeaChange...my word of the year is yet once again lending itself for me to live into it...profound transformation.


I've always loved cooking yet we have dined out more and invited more processed foods into our home then I've ever had in the past or even growing up.  I suppose I've become lazy and unmotivated to cook. When I do cook, I do eat well leaning more toward what's known as a Mediterranean way of eating...which really has been a part of my life since childhood.

After all the diets I tired...the biggest lesson I walked away with is "Everything in Moderation".  Now, I've been researching diabetic diets to help me fine tune my choices.  I really believe being so easily tempted to eat processed food more and more especially when I stress eat, has been my one of my biggest downfalls.

Commitment: Tweak some dietary choices, be conscious and mindful, check in to see what I'm hungry for.  Cut out processed foods.  Eat as close to Earth as possible, buying organic whenever possible and grow our own. Create vibrant colorful, flavorful and balanced dishes.  Ramp up the spices...after all I'm the Spice Goddess, I love and know how good herbs and spices are for you!


I've never been one to go to gyms, but from being in the service, exercise was a big thing in my life.  "Was" because in all honesty...after gaining the weight, my body is not the same anymore and exercise has become challenging.  I used to hike and run a lot when my older kiddos were young...now, well the last time I ran was 2yrs ago when my son and I did a C25K.  Though it was a huge accomplishment...my over weight body didn't venture well and I ended up developing planters fasciitis...which flares up on my walks now.  Then there was dancing...boy did I dance a lot!  Yoga has now been the only true moving I've been doing these past 12 years, since it was introduced to me 20 years ago. But even that hasn't been as routinely as it used to be.

Commitment:  MOVE...my body at least 30 minutes a day, NO excuses.  Invite more Dance and Yoga. Talk the boys in putting up the old Bowflex.  Walk daily...the dog can use the exercise to release her excess energy (she's an energy ball) and it's a good way to connect with nature and the beauty around me and hubby as well...he's been really supportive taking the walks with me.


I have to chuckle...I've been dealing with various levels of stress all my life...haven't had it easy by far.  Yet still can't seem to get a handle on it, and being a worry wart by nature doesn't help.  I know this too has a lot to do with my weight gain and the inability to loose it.  Chronic stress has trashed my adrenals. The last 12 years have been full of high level stress, from my hubby's strokes, the emergency C-section were both baby and I were at risk, ranch foreclosure and all the moves, to now the loss of my steady income day job.  Somethings you just can't do anything about it, change is part of life and change can be stressful. I've learned to use my tools and find a way to move through them...learn my lessons and move forward.

Commitment: Use my tools of Meditate, Yoga, Breath work, and Barefoot breathing, commit to do all of them more often, use Essential oils, get adequate Sleep, communicate my needs more, self body Massages, Hot Tub.

Essential oils...

I know Essential oils can play a part in all of the above.  I'm sure I'll be sharing more of this in a future post.

Commitment:  dōTERRA's Long Life Vitality supplement, Slim and Sassy weight loss blend, DDR Cellular Complex blend, TerraZyme enzyme blend and PBX probiotic blend.  Increase my water intake and continue to use Lemon oil in it.  Balance on my feet every morning , Coriander on my feet midday, Lavender on my feet in the evenings. 

Thank you for baring witness...

to my commitment to make the changes needed, not only to lose weight and feel comfortable in my own skin but to live that vibrant juicy life we all deserve. I know some of these commitments are challenging for me and I'll have to incorporate them as I go, others just need to be taken up a notch. Just like I did when I quit caffeine and smokes, I remind myself to take a it a day at a time...a choice at a time.

If you read this far...

then you too are probably very interested in this Alchemical Healing, seeking answers and may be on a similar journey.  I would love connecting with any of you that are...I always say when women circle together magick happens and this is no different. Offering support and seeing we are not alone can make a huge difference on our journeys.  Free free to comment here or on my FB page.


  1. I appreciate your post so much because I truly believe exposing our vulnerabilities helps the healing. {I heal she heals I heal} I'm on a journey of reclaiming a healthy connection with my body, I'm also the heaviest I've been and even though I eat very consciously I still have some bad habits to let go of. I'd love to walk with you in this healing journey. Sending love your way.

  2. Thank you Alelita ❤︎ That is soooo true! I know exactly what you mean. I felt that despite the stubborn weight not coming off, that I make good choices, my family can attest to that. But like you said, I too haven't let go of some bad habits that keep me from truly embracing the transformation. I would love to have you walking this healing journey with me. If you feel called to...come on over to my Moonlight Living Facebook page where I've invited others on the same journey, so we can circle together and allow the magick of community to unfold <3 http://facebook.com/MoonlightLiving

  3. Thank you for sharing your story! It's inspiring to see you making plans to keep going forward, keep making shifts. Sending lots of good vibes for your journey!



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