Friday, July 20, 2012

Just Breathe

"Just Breathe" has been my mantra for the past 4 weeks...sometimes life can get difficult and we can get so caught up in it that we forget to breathe...that's me.  Stress...oh good old stress and anxiety has been part of my life for so many years and now well, it's catching up to me, in more ways then one.

Soon after getting the second call from my NP...

explaining to me why there was a "suspicious" spot in my first Mamo and nothing in the next...I felt relieved and back to my normal crazy life.  As I'm sure you all know about the scare I had with my first Mamo.

But then I was faced with another health issue...

after seeing my dentist, I was told I had gum disease...I was appalled.  Me...the tooth fanatic, anyone close to me knows how important I think oral hygiene is, I never "forget" to brush and I get on everyones case if they do, I floss frequently, in fact I have floss in my purse, car, emergency kit and of course in my overnight bag, I don't leave home without it.  My gums never looked or felt horrible as the pictures they showed me, yet here I was.  At age 15 when I got my braces I was told I had very large fillings, and that I would have problems later in life.  My large fillings were no surprise...I don't recall good oral hygiene being a priority in our home growing up, so by my early teens I already had a mouth full of fillings.    So...I became a tooth fanatic, I recall my fellow Marines making fun of me cos' I would carry a travel toothbrush and floss in the pocket of my camos.  I have to inject here that my daughter 22yrs old has no fillings and my middle son 17 only one...trust me insurance or not I made sure my kiddos went to the dentist twice a year...some how I managed it cos' it was so important to me that they didn't go down the same road. Anyway, when I got home from the dentist, I did some research and found out that gum disease is genetic...I recall seeing photos of my mom when she was young and her gums did look inflamed and red so here's to genes!

Now here I was facing...

deep cleaning, scaling and plaining of my teeth..eeeek.  Of course despite paying for Dental Insurance...it wasn't going to cover all of it.  During that same visit I was told that my large fillings due to age and wear and such...were starting to fall apart and I would be looking at a few crowns as well.  Then the stress of finances kicked in...my TMJ sky rocketed...worse I ever had in years.  Nothing helped despite the various holistic approaches...I did learn some pressure points around my jaw which helped a little.  The pain was more than I could bare...I was a wreck and could hardly focus on life.  Within the week one of my soon to be crown teeth started hurting bad...long story short...I ended up needing a root canal.  Oh my Goddess just the thought of it alone was nerve wrecking enough but to find out the only root canal specialist in town didn't take my insurance topped it all off.  Where in the heck was the money going to come from and I was in so much pain...once again I was made to face my word of the year...TRUST...trust, that I would be taken care of no matter what.

As embarrassing as it sounds, 

my older kids offered to pitch in to help with finances...but then we were able to find a program that assists with medical bills, granted it's a credit card, so it will have to get paid back but in times of dire need it saved us (me from suffering any more pain).  This may sound like no big deal just apply for a credit card and your worries are over...well, since the loss of our Ranch to Foreclosure, we've been denied credit, from car loans to credit cards, so being approved for this one was a blessing and nothing short of a miracle for us.

So I spent the last weeks...

in much pain, stress and anxiety.  Did lots of meditations and relaxation to deal with it all and every time I got the words "Just Breathe"....so I did as much as I could.  My root canal was last Friday...the experience for what is was went really well, the wonders of Halcion...I'm not much of a drug person...prefer holistic care...but my anxiety was so bad that nothing I tried from the health food store helped. While there, the Endodontist explained how grinding and clenching our teeth could lead to root canals when you have large fillings due to them stressing the teeth...thus I need to get a guard that will prevent future issues. That's on my to do list, but due to how expensive they are a Walmart special one will have to do.  My major cleaning ordeal was yesterday... surprisingly enough I'm not in as much pain as I thought I'd be.  Now I'm in healing mode and on to the crowns.

BUT back to the "JUST BREATHE" that inspired this post.

After that visit and realizing how much "Just Breathe" meant to me...I began thinking about creating new  production for my shop.  We all need little reminders especially when we get all caught up in the what if's and the various scenario in life and forget...forget to breath, forget that we are enough, forget that we are LOVED.  And so out of pain and anxiety I birthed some awesome ideas for a new line.  I've been trying to come up with something new and exciting to get business to pick up...and now with the huge debt we are getting into due to my mouth (you'd be surprised how little insurance pays), now more than ever I need to get business to pickup and help us out of this debt.

You remember me mentioning I'd be doing the Telluride Mountain Village Markets this Summer...well I attended 3 and all three were major flops...not one sale.  What sold were stamped products by other vendors.  Stamped key chains, pendants, discs, etc.  That seems to ge the going thing now, and that got me thinking...I'm a creative at heart...so why not combined stamping with my own style...AND...why not take it a step further and combined what I've been learning about Angels and my stone knowledge and empower them even more.

YES...that was it!

So I came up with my first piece, 

the one I'm wearing in the first picture on top..."Just Breathe" with Angel wings, cos' I know deep in my heart that my Angels were the ones that sent me that message.  Then I came up with adding some stones that symbolized the color therapy that an Angel would provide for the healing I was looking for...and so with a little more research, I came up with...

Physical Healing~ Archangel Raphael~Green~ Peridot
Emotional Healing~Archangel Chamuel~Rose~Rose Quartz/Pink Tourmaline
Spiritual Healing~Archangel Zadkiel~Purple~ Amethyst
Strength/Protection Healing~Archangel Michael~Blue~Iolite

And so...

I created my necklace infused with the Angels' colors and a bracelet to reminded me I am a Goddess and of course with my healing symbol the Lotus flower.  My next one is going to be my word for the year.  I thinking about making a charm holder and add my words from now on to it :)

I have many more ideas in my sketchbook, like using a combination of leather, chain and ribbon or even fiber from our Alpacas...oh the ideas just keep rolling in.  Soon I will be bringing them to life and posting them in my shop...so, if you have any suggestions or ideas of wonderful and magickal inspirational sayings you'd like to see, feel free to share them with me in the comments.  Til next time Creative Blessings to you ♥

1 comment:

  1. Wow, again. I just followed this link from your post today, I know exactly what you mean about the shock on being given the news about your teeth, and about the pain, and the worry of the cost.

    I love your jewellery, hope its going well now, should be its gorgeous.



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